On Monday, at 1120pm, I lost the greatest love of my life. Ty Cameron Barnes was the guy who everyone loved so much, the guy who no person ever had ill will toward. When Ty and I met, it was love at first site. We knew within a matter of minutes that we wanted to be together and spend an eternity together. We would have Skype dates and text and chat for hours on end about the places we wanted to go, the adventures we wanted to have, and the life of being married to one another.One of my favorite Skype dates was when he was just looking at me and smiling and then buried his head in his pillow, and said ” gosh I can’t wait to be with you.” The next day, we were in each others arms and neither one of us wanted to let go. When he would kiss me, nothing else mattered around me.We talked for hours about what we want in life and the dreams we had. He said, “I was put on this Earth to be a daddy, and you were meant to be my kids mommy.” We bantered back and forth playfully about baby names, and never came to an agreement. You even said you wanted our kids to have my eyes and your “awesome hair.” We talked about getting married and how he couldn’t wait to see me be Kayla Barnes.I loved how perfectly our hands fit in one another’s and how when he would walk behind me he would proudly announce to everyone he was checking out my ass. hahaTy, our time together was short. But you are and will forever be the one who stole my heart. You knew I was never good with my feelings, and I was too scared to commit. But I wish nothing in the world more than for you to look down and see the love and pain I feel for you. When you said, “babe just give us a chance to make the life we planned.” I should have just said yes, instead of be scared. When you said,baby why won’t you let me love you?” I had no words because I already knew I loved you back.No one knows when their time is up here on this Earth, but the Lord took you from me too soon. I need you. As much as I know you are in a better place, there is no denying I will miss every little thing about you. I’m sorry I never told you how I felt. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be your wife or the mother to your kids. I’m sorry that I was scared and afraid.I don’t think there are any words that I have that can make this any better. Only time is there to heal the wounds. My tears will dry, but the pain and emptiness I feel in my heart will forever remain. There are no longer any what if’s, but baby just know we will meet again. Rock the shit out of those drums in heaven babe, I will see you in my dreams.“And when his lips met mine, I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world, but nothing would ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the man of my dreams and knew that my love would last forever.”
Ty "Bash Brother" Barnes I'll miss you forever! R.I.P.
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